SnowGirl's Blog

Sunday, June 11, 2006

More Cowbell

So, yesterday (Saturday) I went out to a club with Liz, and we stayed out until.... God, I think I got home around 4 or 5. But it was overall a very positive experience.

So, wait, let me start from the beginning. Friday some friends and I decided to go see Cars, the new Pixar/Disney film. Since I had just spoken with R. about my transition and everything, and still wondering a bit about his reaction to me actually presenting, I spent some 2 or 3 hours getting ready. It was pretty crazy. I've never spent so much time on my appearance before. I just never cared about myself before.

So, anyways, I show up at R's door, and his first reaction is "woah." Lol, I don't think he were expecting me to be presenting. We talked some, he asked some questions about things, and I answered them. Honestly, if you ever feel the need to bear your soul to everyone significant in your life, choose gender transition. People will ask you the most personal of questions, but not even aware that they're at all personal. They're just curious. Stuff like, "So, um. Why do you want to be female?" and "So, what do you like most about being female? What attracts you to it the most." It's stuff that's hard to answer. Why? I don't know. What do I like most about being female? Being female. It just seems to fit, like a perfectly tailored dress, instead of an ill-fiting suit. It just is. It's kind of that simple, but it's hard to explain to someone, who's not transgendered. They'll typically say things like "Well, you know, I've thought about becoming a female before." and "Well, I think you're probably just normal, but somewhere in your environment you had something happen that turned you over to wanting to be female." *sigh* The gap of understanding is difficult to cross. To get them to understand, yeah, you did many of the same things as I, it's just normal boy behavior. Normal boy behavior though does not include wearing briefs so tight that it keeps yourself very tightly against your body, so much so that you constantly develop rashes, and I imagine most guys wouldn't feel extremely vulnerable and "naked" by wearing boxers out in public. Hell, I can't even stand the idea of boxers in my private HOME.

So, yes, I met up with R, and we were going to meet two other people, and he asked if I had told them about any of this, and I told him "no, I haven't". I think he was expecting a larger reaction from them than just the non-chalaunt, "Oh, he's wearing girl clothes." (thought, not said.) After the movie R had to go meet some people for dinner, so the other two and I headed over to a place called "The Pink Door" in downtown Seattle. It was pretty incredible. Great food, you should go at least once, maybe thrice just to sit in each of their seating sections, I'll need to return twice myself. So, during dinner I had an opportunity to explain to the two what was going on. They had questions, and were generally accepting. They didn't try and judgmental stuff on me, of "Well, are you *sure* this is what you want to be doing?" No, I just dyed my hair pink, pierced my ears, and I'm walking around with prostetic breasts because I thought it would be funny.

So, after dinner, I went over to Liz's and we headed out to On Set, for a Drum and Bass thing, which was pretty incredible. I got out there and danced my toosh off, which is hilarious, because I have been so notoriously against public spectacles such as dancing. But seriously, if you have pink hair, who is going to fault you for being weird?

After On Set, we were still wanting to party and dance, so we drove to a place called Primier or something like that. They were closing down also, but we wanted to try and find an after party. Eventually we came up with a club called Contour, which we could go to. This is where I got a bit of a hassle. Waiting in line we met this nice girl and she loved my hair, she said in High School she did Atomic Pink, and Liz and I both go, "that's totally the color it is!" It was pretty awesome, but so we finally get to the door and the bouncer lets Liz and her Boy past, but then he gets in my way, and he's all "no, wait" or something like that, just after having looked at my ID. I don't know why he did any of this, but it kind of felt like he was discriminating against me. *shrug* whatever, it wasn't that bad.

Anyways, Liz had to use the restroom REALLY bad, so we immediately went looking for the restrooms, and I joined her inside, just like I had done before at On Set, and I had used the female facilities at The Pink Door, and a Starbucks, also. So, I was pretty comfortable with being there and such. Anyways, a security guard comes in, and she kicks this puke-drunk girl out of the club, then she turns to me, and she says, "Honey, are you in the right bathroom?" *sigh* Yes, I reply. And she's like "You sure?" Yes, all the while calm. Meanwhile, Liz, who's in a stall yells out, "Yes, she is in the right bathroom." Thanks Liz, you're the best for sticking up for me like that. :)

So, besides dancing like a maniac, and generally having a fun and awesome time, that's really all that was interesting. I've found it kind of interesting that the girls have been generally accepting of me in their restrooms, since I obviously know what I'm talking about, I don't feel/look awkward, and I'm not gawking, or acting like a guy at all. Just obviously, the Security Guard has to be a bitch... that's what she's paid for. I'm just glad Liz was there, and I didn't have to leave the club. That would have been annoying and embarrassing. "Hey guys, we're leaving. Why? Oh, I was in the 'wrong' restroom." Yeah, let me just walk into the guy's restroom presenting as a female, maybe touch up my makeup, etc. Yes, that makes perfect sense.

Oh, and there needs to be some sort of official ettiquette for people to address people, who are presenting as a gender different from what they obviously are at that point. I was at a Bank, and the manager came over and he's like "Ok, Daniel, we're just going to ask you some questions to verify your identity." And afterwards, I told the teller, just as a matter of courtesy, if someone comes in like me ever again, don't use their first name, they may not be using it anymore. It's also frustrating to be refered to as "he" and "him", when you're obviously presenting as a female. Can someone say rude? Oh well, one can't expect to change the world overnight to be more polite towards use trans females and males.

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Oh, I totally forgot to mention the title of this entry. While we were at Contour, there was a guy who came up and started playing a drum, and such, and at one point, pulled out some cowbells, and it was pretty cool. So, naturally the SNL skit pops to mind, "I know what this needs... more cowbell."

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