SnowGirl's Blog

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Church Group

So, I went to my church group again this week. Last week wasn't so fun, because we started talking about homosexuals, and naturally the topic then went on to transsexuality. The husband of the couple that runs the group, we'll call him S, he kept calling me "Daniel", and he was trying to interrupt me at one point, by saying "Daniel, Daniel, Dan-" and I just went off on him... I slammed the Bible down on the table, and pointed vigerously at him, and shouted, "Stop calling me Daniel!" Of course, his wife's first reaction was to comment later that that was a "very masculine response."

First of all, it's it so God damn hard to just call me by the name that I want to be known as? And to use gender pronouns that I expect? I mean, can you really love someone, and call them by a name that offends them? And, what's up with the "males own aggression thing?" It's like, what? Your mom never screamed at you, threw a book down, or pointed vigerously at you? Like, a male response would have been reverting my voice to "Daniel" and beating the shit out of him! Not effeminately waving my finger at him, and screaming out halfway to tears. Hah...

And then later, his wife says effectively that her choice doesn't matter, and she'll have to respect what her husband says. Like... WTF? How did I get to be more of a feminist my entire life than she is? Like, what? are you going to ask your husband who to vote for in the next elections? Do you ask your husband if you should believe in God, and Jesus? Why should you have to present a "unified front" about this? That's just pathetic to me... I expect that a Christian wife should allow her husband some allowance of the direction that they should go... but at the same time, if my future husband ever tells me "you need to believe XY", I'll tell him to shove it. :P FEMINIST UNITE! *laugh*

So... yes, today, the same guy S... I'm getting my name changed legally tomorrow, and so I'm like "I'd like to get some support about that, and I hope it goes well." And he's all "Well, I don't" then he tries to do that guy thing, where you butt fists together, saying something about "male honesty". Like... umm.. right...

Then, later he's calling me "he" while he's praying for me, and I'm just like *sigh*, so afterwards we sit down and talk some more after the other person left. And he's all, I don't try and hide my opinion on the matter, and I just won't call you "Cassondra" nor use "she". And he insists that he still despite respects me!

I'm like "??? I don't see how you can respect me and still call me something that I find offensive..." Seriously, someone explain that to me. And I told him, I know that there are different levels of respect that one can show someone, and I understand that you think you're trying to respect me... I'm just asking for something stupidly trivial of using my new name, and my desired gender. And I'm telling him it's all stupid arbitrary anyways, in German, I would say "The Chair, he's green."

God, I wonder if the Sun goes through a transsexual experience as people who speak Spanish (el sol, masculine) learn German (die Sonne, feminine). Seriously... people get too pent up about this, and "God made you a man." and it's like "Well, God made me a transsexual, too" umbs...

So... yeah... I wonder if there's cause for a finding of harrassment against someone for using a name that you find offensive. Anyways, it's late, and I'm tired, I'm going to finish this Soy Milk and hit the hay. Night all :)


  • At 7:36 AM, Blogger jamesd_wi said…

    You should tell "him" that it is nice of him to be so focused on your genaltalia, and your outword appearance, instead of focussing on your mind, heart and spirit, that is female.

  • At 8:18 AM, Blogger Kristen said…

    See? SEE? The church guy is only willing to actually respect you while you have a penis. To say he respects you while refusing to call you by your (soon-to-be) legal name, even though he's been asked to, is rude and disrespectful.

    When you say you hope your appointment goes well to legally change your name, and he says, "Well, I don't," is disrespectful and immature.

    The part that he doesn't realize is that hardly any of us remain "as God made us". People get tattoos. Body piercings. Women wear makeup on a daily basis because God didn't accentuate their cheekbones and eyes well enough. Surgically, the organs that God gave us need to be altered sometimes. Just because it's not making you physically ill to remain male doesn't mean it feels right.

    I believe, even though I've never felt it myself, that a transsexual views the gender reassignment surgery (possible complications and emotional distress notwithstanding) the same as almost any other surgery: appendix, tonsils, other -otomies. It's correcting something that's not right.

    And if it were morally reprehensible, W would have outlawed it by now. So nyah.

  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger SnowGirl said…

    Actually, it's not an -ectomy. An orchiectomy is the removal of the penis (castration), but in fact, transsexual women get a vaginaplasty. Which means "surgery on the vagina."

    So, as far as it is from my point of view, it's fixing the genitalia to what it should have been all along.

    I have to totally agree with you though, that his attitude is one of immaturity, and disrespect. Unfortunately, he's so full of the righteousness of God, that he can't get around how offensive it is.

    I've been thinking of calling him Sandy to his face, and using the female pronouns, just to give him a sense of how offensive it is. (Sandy is an inside joke with me and my friends from WoW, where one of my friends couldn't remember Cassy, and thus called me Sandy, from Grease.)

    If he wants to complain that it's not his name, I can easily counter with, "Daniel isn't my name either", and "The masculine pronouns inaccurately describe me just as the feminine pronouns describe you."

    But that would just be bitter and insensitive... I'll talk to my therapist on Monday about how to handle the dealio. But as for him, we'll see how he takes True Selves, and if he learns or empathizes at all. God, men piss me off sometimes ;)

  • At 7:04 PM, Blogger dee goldie said…

    Ugh, I hate how fixated America is on gender. What's wrong with being who we want to be?

    and i have to say, i'm sure that the church guy DOES tell his wife who to vote for! sounds like you need a new church, honey.


Post a Comment

<< Home